Ah, feedback. That magical all-encompassing word we use to justify advice, observations, opinions, judgements, words of encouragement, and criticism both constructive and otherwise. Personally, I’ve received audience feedback on presentations I deliver a few weekends a year with a volunteer organization. In my professional career, I’ve received feedback of all kinds. This ranged from getting chewed out at full volume in the Marines, what we called a “conversational tone,” to thankful and not-so-thankful letters from customers, and regular written performance reviews in my civilian jobs. In many of these situations, sometimes my boss and even my employees have just wanted to tell me what they felt about me.
It’s not a bad thing to get feedback. It’s always nice to be told you’re doing a good job, of course. When accepting positive feedback, simply be gracious about it. If you’re really a go-getter, you can take those compliments and think about how to capitalize on your strengths, but let’s save that for another day.
Feedback can be tough to take sometimes when it’s not what you want to hear -- for most people, it’s not easy to be criticized. This week’s article is going to focus more on how to accept that criticism, or redirection of your efforts. Being open to feedback is one of the more critical methods by which both managers and employees become stronger.
So, let’s just dive right in. The most important thing to remember about constructive criticism from your boss: It’s not personal.
Okay, now that’s out of the way. Your boss sincerely wants your organization and your team to be a success. She isn’t talking to you about your performance or behavior because she doesn’t like you, or to pick on you. By far the most likely reason you’re having this discussion is because she sees something that is having an adverse impact on your success and wants to fix it. In fact, most managers don’t particularly like giving negative feedback; if anything, she’s probably waited to be sure it’s really necessary to address the issue at all. You may not agree with what your boss is saying, and that’s fine, but most likely she has a better overall picture than you of the impact your behavior is having on your team or customers.
Occasionally you may find that your peers or your employees want to let you know how they feel about something you’re doing. Regardless of the source, be open-minded and humble. what they have to say may be petty or even completely inaccurate, but you owe it to yourself and to them to listen attentively. What they perceive may or may not be the whole truth and you may not be able to appease them in good conscience. If they believe you’re behaving in a certain way and they don’t agree with it, however, you’re going to want to hear what they have to say. Get it out in the open before it becomes a bigger issue that damages morale or performance for them or others. Besides, who knows? They just might even be right.
What if the direction of the conversation is a complete surprise? If your boss is doing her job (and you’re not completely deluded), you should never be surprised by what your manager has to say about how you’re doing. The same goes for you and your employees, by the way, if you’re in a position that involves supervising others. Keeping your employees informed about how they’re doing is part of your job, and they should know where they stand with you at any given time.
Anyway, sometimes changes slip through the cracks or you’ll have a project, customer interaction or sales quarter that doesn’t go as well as you thought, and you’ll find yourself caught off-guard when told you’re doing something that isn’t really what your manager had in mind. In a situation like this, it’s even more important than normal to keep that open mind I mentioned earlier. It’s natural to feel defensive when criticized, but you’re not going to have much focus coming out of the meeting if you don’t listen and take that criticism seriously.
You also need to remember that this conversation is about you. Although the discussion may involve your interactions with others, or you may have some “feedback” of your own to give to the person talking to you, bite your tongue in this instance. The last thing you want to do is turn this discussion into an argument in which nobody learns anything and everybody’s feelings get hurt.
Finally, seek feedback regularly. You can’t act on feedback that you don’t have. Even if you think or know that you won’t like what you’re going to hear, be open to it. Not only does your boss want you focused on being the best performer possible, but asking for criticism - and addressing any concerns or changes that need to be made - will demonstrate a high level of engagement that she will respect. The more you know about how you’re doing, the better a job you can do at it.
Have you ever gotten constructive criticism of your behavior or performance that was tough to swallow? Please feel free to contribute to the discussion in the comments section! If you’ve enjoyed spending a few minutes reading “The Boss Perspective,” subscribe and share this site with your friends, Like me on Facebook, or follow me on Twitter @BossPerspective.
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