Accepting tough feedback

Ah, feedback. That magical all-encompassing word we use to justify advice, observations, opinions, judgements, words of encouragement, and criticism both constructive and otherwise. Personally, I’ve received audience feedback on presentations I deliver a few weekends a year with a volunteer organization. In my professional career, I’ve received feedback of all kinds. This ranged from getting chewed out at full volume in the Marines, what we called a “conversational tone,” to thankful and not-so-thankful letters from customers, and regular written performance reviews in my civilian jobs. In many of these situations, sometimes my boss and even my employees have just wanted to tell me what they felt about me.

It’s not a bad thing to get feedback. It’s always nice to be told you’re doing a good job, of course. When accepting positive feedback, simply be gracious about it. If you’re really a go-getter, you can take those compliments and think about how to capitalize on your strengths, but let’s save that for another day.

Feedback can be tough to take sometimes when it’s not what you want to hear -- for most people, it’s not easy to be criticized. This week’s article is going to focus more on how to accept that criticism, or redirection of your efforts. Being open to feedback is one of the more critical methods by which both managers and employees become stronger.

So, let’s just dive right in. The most important thing to remember about constructive criticism from your boss: It’s not personal.

Okay, now that’s out of the way. Your boss sincerely wants your organization and your team to be a success. She isn’t talking to you about your performance or behavior because she doesn’t like you, or to pick on you. By far the most likely reason you’re having this discussion is because she sees something that is having an adverse impact on your success and wants to fix it. In fact, most managers don’t particularly like giving negative feedback; if anything, she’s probably waited to be sure it’s really necessary to address the issue at all. You may not agree with what your boss is saying, and that’s fine, but most likely she has a better overall picture than you of the impact your behavior is having on your team or customers.

Occasionally you may find that your peers or your employees want to let you know how they feel about something you’re doing. Regardless of the source, be open-minded and humble. what they have to say may be petty or even completely inaccurate, but you owe it to yourself and to them to listen attentively. What they perceive may or may not be the whole truth and you may not be able to appease them in good conscience. If they believe you’re behaving in a certain way and they don’t agree with it, however, you’re going to want to hear what they have to say. Get it out in the open before it becomes a bigger issue that damages morale or performance for them or others. Besides, who knows? They just might even be right.

What if the direction of the conversation is a complete surprise? If your boss is doing her job (and you’re not completely deluded), you should never be surprised by what your manager has to say about how you’re doing. The same goes for you and your employees, by the way, if you’re in a position that involves supervising others. Keeping your employees informed about how they’re doing is part of your job, and they should know where they stand with you at any given time.

Anyway, sometimes changes slip through the cracks or you’ll have a project, customer interaction or sales quarter that doesn’t go as well as you thought, and you’ll find yourself caught off-guard when told you’re doing something that isn’t really what your manager had in mind. In a situation like this, it’s even more important than normal to keep that open mind I mentioned earlier. It’s natural to feel defensive when criticized, but you’re not going to have much focus coming out of the meeting if you don’t listen and take that criticism seriously.

You also need to remember that this conversation is about you. Although the discussion may involve your interactions with others, or you may have some “feedback” of your own to give to the person talking to you, bite your tongue in this instance. The last thing you want to do is turn this discussion into an argument in which nobody learns anything and everybody’s feelings get hurt.

Finally, seek feedback regularly. You can’t act on feedback that you don’t have. Even if you think or know that you won’t like what you’re going to hear, be open to it. Not only does your boss want you focused on being the best performer possible, but asking for criticism - and addressing any concerns or changes that need to be made - will demonstrate a high level of engagement that she will respect. The more you know about how you’re doing, the better a job you can do at it.

Have you ever gotten constructive criticism of your behavior or performance that was tough to swallow? Please feel free to contribute to the discussion in the comments section! If you’ve enjoyed spending a few minutes reading “The Boss Perspective,” subscribe and share this site with your friends, Like me on Facebook, or follow me on Twitter @BossPerspective.

Thursday's Thought

"A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way." - John C. Maxwell

A reader asks for assistance

This week marks a milestone for The Boss Perspective. The article for today is going to focus on a question submitted by one of my readers, who we’ll call Linda for privacy’s sake. She found herself in a situation at work recently that’s not going to be fun for her to address. It seems that Linda, who is a junior manager, planned for some time off a while back, and had scheduled her assistant to cover the shift. The assistant, who’s demonstrated some attendance issues in the past, initially agreed to work Linda’s shift but cancelled at the last minute to catch up on schoolwork.

There are a whole mess of reasons why she may have chosen to back out and leave Linda and her customers hanging. I’m going to discuss this as if I were the one dealing with the situation, but I’m going to intentionally do so without some background context. It wouldn’t be appropriate to highlight their company’s specific policies on this website, and of course we don’t have the employee’s side of the story. My response will need to be fairly generic because of this, but the rest of my readers may one day find themselves in a similar situation. It may be worth noting, however, that Linda and her assistant are close in age, which may play into how the assistant feels about reporting to Linda.

The business model for this particular workplace required employees to stick to a fairly specific and regular schedule based on the hours of operation. Hopefully I’ve spoken to my assistant in the past, to communicate our attendance policy but also to address her prior struggles with adhering to the schedule. If she’s not already, she should probably be on a performance plan with specific goals and objectives for improvement. With attendance, this is usually straightforward. An organization can consider what accommodations need to be made, but in general if the business needs dictate a set schedule then that’s pretty much where it needs to be.

I would review the assistant’s individual calendar so I could plan for a meeting that shouldn’t be interrupted or postponed. If this is the sort of organization that does “write-ups” or other documentation of discipline, I would prepare that ahead of time and have it ready when I go to sit down and talk with the assistant just in case. I would open with discussing what was agreed to or understood versus what actually occurred with regard to her dropping the ball, and ask for her thought process or reasoning behind not covering the shift she agreed to.

In my personal experience, both as an employee and as a supervisor, homework and studying can frequently conflict with a work schedule -- especially if one wants to have any sort of personal life outside of school and work! It may well be that this particular individual doesn’t plan to make a career out of being someone’s assistant at this company, and that’s okay. What’s not okay is committing to a schedule and then not living up to that commitment. Nor is this a habit that she should develop prior to moving on to her “career” job, wherever that may be.

It may not be enough simply to tell her that she was supposed to do something or agreed to do something and then didn’t get it done, and this is disappointing or whatnot. To help her see both sides of the story, I would explain to her how this affected the personal life of whoever ended up unexpectedly working the shift, and how it impacted the customer experience. Then I would ask her what she could have done differently to avoid this situation. Although I’d want her to see a lesson to be learned, or better alternative to ditching work, I wouldn’t be incredibly surprised if she simply expressed regret at agreeing to cover the shift in the first place.

This is tricky because I don’t want to get into her personal business with questions like “when did you receive your homework assignment” or “what were you doing all week that prevented you from studying at night?” Her personal business is, well, none of my business. The steps I take to address the employee issue remain the same, however, since she may one day have other issues at work due to poor decisions made entirely within the workplace.

Then I would move on to how we could avoid situations like this one in the future. The needs of the business and the responsibilities associated with her role may preclude simple answers like avoiding covering shifts for other people. I may offer her advice on time management; I may do some homework of my own and find that my attendance policies are too lax or too strict. It may also be that given the assistant’s prior struggles with attendance, she shouldn’t be scheduled to cover anyone else.

I’d also talk about what happens next with her if she doesn’t avoid behavior like this in the future. It’s important to be clear with expectations around behavior and improvement. This is not to make threats about future disciplinary actions, but rather to prevent the need for those entirely by making clear to my employee where I want her to focus her energy. I also want to make it as easy as possible for her to see what behaviors to avoid or change. If she’s constantly stressed out over any potential disciplinary actions, her performance will begin to suffer as a result.

Finally, disciplinary action may indeed be needed. I prefer to think of performance management as a lot more than just a punitive, reactionary process, but sometimes unfortunately it ends up being just that black-and-white. Attendance can be one of those issues. Hopefully Linda’s assistant can take away a lesson from this situation and improve her behavior, but ultimately she must be responsible for her own actions. Linda and her organization should ensure they provide the necessary guidance and allow the assistant every opportunity to be successful; whether that employee steps up will be on her alone.

What would you do, if you were in Linda’s position? What do you suppose this employee is thinking? Please feel free to contribute to the discussion in the comments section! If you’ve enjoyed spending a few minutes reading “The Boss Perspective,” subscribe and share this site with your friends, Like me on Facebook, or follow me on Twitter @BossPerspective.

Thursday's Thought

"Effective leadership is putting first things first. Effective management is discipline, carrying it out." - Stephen Covey

Lunch break link

Today's lunch break link is from Forbes, which maintains a great collection of articles on Leadership. I've developed my own leadership style based mostly on my career experiences and training I've been through, but I feel like there's always room for improvement. I try and read a few articles a week about management and leadership; there always seem to be a few good takeaways. Although I haven't personally read anything else by Forbes contributor Glenn Lopis yet, he seems to have a great perspective:

"The most successful leaders are instinctual decision makers. Having done it so many times throughout their careers, they become immune to the pressure associated with decision making and extremely intuitive about the process of making the most strategic and best decisions. This is why most senior executives will tell you they depend strongly upon their “gut-feel” when making difficult decisions at a moment’s notice."

How does one develop the right instincts for making the decisions involved in leading a successful team? Part of it just comes down to being aware of your habits and honing them. In this article that Lopis wrote for Forbes (be sure to continue past the advertisement), he lists fifteen things that successful leaders do every day. I feel comfortable saying that I see many of these things in my own actions, but how much better could I do for my team if I truly lived each of these principles every day?

Please feel free to contribute to the discussion in the comments section! If you’ve enjoyed spending a few minutes reading “The Boss Perspective,” subscribe and share this site with your friends, Like me on Facebook, or follow on me Twitter @BossPerspective.

Back to basics

When I was in high school, I was involved in a program for all four years that appeared on my transcripts as Leadership Education. Some of my readers will recall it more or less warmly under other names; none of them will have forgotten our quirky but accomplished instructor. In between listening to his exploits as a helicopter pilot and lectures on our glorious history, my classmates and I managed to pick up a thing or two about leadership. He gave one definition as "the ability to influence others." This is a greatly simplified summary, but it's a starting point.

There aren’t literally just right and wrong ways to influence people. The carrot and the stick shouldn’t be the only tools in your toolbox; the good cop and bad cop aren’t the only hats you’ll be wearing. Leadership involves finding ways to engage your team, as you can’t just force people to buy into your plans. Don’t make your employees jump through hoops without a good reason, one where they can understand the part that they play, and they’ll trust you so much more. It may take a while, but over time as you demonstrate sound judgement with their welfare in mind, you’re more likely to earn their respect and get them all reading from the same page.

As with many major life disciplines, managing people (successfully) is a blend of art and science, and some people will go farther than others. There are techniques which can be taught and habits which can be developed. Some people seem to naturally possess the instincts, good judgement and charisma that attract followers. Although they aren't really born with it, leadership may seem to come more easily for some than others. Most people, though, become leaders (or better leaders) through hard work and lots of trial and error. Think about the people in leadership positions who have been major influences in your life - certainly in your career, but also perhaps on a sports team or in a school setting - and ask yourself if they got lucky in the talent lottery, or if they got to be that way because of their experience, background, and learning from their choices.

I don’t need to tell you that you’re going to make plenty of mistakes, and that it’s okay. You already know that. You probably also know that you need to learn from those mistakes and think about how you’ll handle it better next time. No one’s perfect, after all. Yes, try to avoid making them in the first place and don’t be negligent. But don’t be afraid to try new ideas, or ways to improve on old ideas. Don’t get complacent. Your team probably wants to be successful as much as you do, so as long as you’re transparently sharing your vision with them they’ll get behind you.

Chances are, you're reading this blog because you are a people/team manager, intend to become one, or just have to deal with one on a regular basis. Whether you're here because you want to become a better boss, or simply want to know how your boss thinks, this is probably not the starting point for understanding how to lead and manage people. There are a ton of books on the subject written by more intelligent people than me. That being said, you’re more than welcome to stay and hang out. I may even have some good stories, and you never know what you might learn.

Are you in a position where your actions are influencing the behavior of others? Please feel free to contribute to the discussion in the comments section! If you’ve enjoyed spending a few minutes reading “The Boss Perspective,” subscribe and share this site with your friends, Like me on Facebook, or follow me on Twitter @BossPerspective.

Thursday's Thought

"Good management consists in showing average people how to do the work of superior people." - John D. Rockefeller

Vacation

Hi everyone,

I'm on vacation this week, so I won't be posting an article. However, I don't want to leave you all with nothing this week, so I have a bonus quote for you. This one comes from a colleague of mine and helps keep things in perspective, sort of along the lines of that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger, etc. Next time you feel like the waters around are running a little fast and deep, remember this:

"The rock does not become smooth without rough waters." - Stephen Riley

If you’ve enjoyed reading “The Boss Perspective,” subscribe and share this site with your friends, Like me on Facebook, or follow me on Twitter @BossPerspective.

Thursday's Thought

"The conventional definition of management is getting work done through people, but real management is developing people through work." - Agha Hasan Abedi